December 5, 2018, at Bier Baron:
Holiday Surprises Surprise DC's Unsurprisable
It was a festive, early-December Wednesday at Dupont Circle's Bier Baron Tavern and DC Comedy Loft. An unexpected dusting of snow, an appearance from Santa Claus, and the warm company of friends and family had everyone's spirits running high for the final Perfect Liars Club of 2018.
And while this show, like countless shows before it, followed the patented Perfect Liars Club format, no one in attendance could have anticipated the thrilling twists and turns that the storytellers' tales would take this evening.
Did aspiring summer camp director Maisie become embroiled in a check fraud scheme after accidentally shattering the glass screen of the camp's only photocopier?
Did acrophobic Grand Canyon visitor Shane set off on a late-night backwoods hike in the pouring rain in search of his partner's missing wallet?
Did wedding crasher Rachel accidentally spill red wine on the bride-to-be's veil moments before the ceremony and then have the audacity to pin the blame on the bride's grandmother?
Did Subway sandwich artist and would-be "ambitious business leader" Nupe learn the cold hard facts of entrepreneurship after joining the salesforce of the well-known multi-level marketing giant, Cutco Knives?
A cacophony of chatter filled the tavern as the intermission began. Patrons quizzed fellow patrons sitting at shared tables. Other patrons grilled storytellers as they jockeyed for drinks at the bar. And still more patrons demanded insights from the show's hosts. It was high time for the interrogation!
Could Maisie explain how she managed to break a photocopier by merely pushing down on a hardbound book?
Could Shane identify by name one or more of the hiking trails he traversed while visiting the Grand Canyon?
Could Rachel explain why the bride left her veil behind when she departed to have her pictures taken?
Could Nupe explain to the audience how scissors featured predominantly into the Cutco sales presentation?
The interrogation was tense. One might even refer to it as testy. And more than few interrogators suffered the verbal wrath of storytellers who deemed some of their inquiries out-of-bounds.
In the end, the audience voted Shane the most suspicious of the bunch, followed by Nupe, with Maisie and Rachel bringing up the rear in a near dead-heat. Were they right? Was Shane's tale of Grand Canyon adventures a complete fabrication? Would the Perfect Liars club faithful end the year on a triumphant note?
As the drum roll sounded you could cut the tension in the room with a knife. The storytellers each leaned forward feigning their guilt, as members of the audience squealed in anticipation. And then... to the shock of nearly everyone in the room, December's Perfect Liar stepped forward. Another liar unspotted. Another majority duped by a fabulous fabricator.
In the end, Rachel's two-tiered yarn of wine-stained wedding veils and misleading matriarch accusations was nothing more than a great big fairytale.
Better luck in 2019 sleuthers!