July 5, 2017 : THE Bier Baron Tavern
Digging Up the Past, Religious Gibberish, Words that Sting and Shower Accidents

Shellshocked, sunburned, and possibly still hungover from Fourth of July celebrations that had occurred 24 hours earlier, some of DC’s biggest Perfect Liars Club fans put their mettle, stamina, and curiosity on display at Dupont Circle’s Bier Baron Tavern for the July 2017 Perfect Liars Club. In exchange, they were entertained by a cast of veteran storytellers who served up four personal accounts so revealing, so raw, and so racy that everyone in attendance couldn't help but be aroused from their collective post-holiday slumber. 

In keeping with the patented Perfect Liars Club formula only one of the stories told on this midsummer's evening was a lie: 

  • Did Cait spend her Spring Break exhuming the corpses of massacred socialists who had been gunned down by Franco's fascists during the Spanish Civil War?
  • Did Rachel feign speaking in tongues during a church camp baptism so she could impress her new pastor and "win at Jesus"?
  • Did Meredith's foray into BDSM go awry when her insults cut a too close to home and hurt her soon-to-be ex's feelings?
  • Did Nate mistake his brother's oddly located sex toy for a bottle of conditioner while showering?

While our audience may have arrived groggy, any vestiges of fatigue were long gone by intermission, shaken off thanks to the increasingly racy content of our storytellers' tales. And by the time the interrogation began, it was apparent that this crowd was firing on all cylinders. And fire away they did:

  • How did college student Cait, with no previous archaeological experience and limited knowledge of the Spanish Civil War, get accepted into an overseas program that required a very particular set of technical skills and dealt with such historically sensitive subject matter?
  • What songs did Rachel sing at church camp and could she serenade the audience with a few? She did.
  • How did Meredith's restrained lover remove his own ball gag, as she had claimed, when her belittling words became too much for him to bear?
  • Why was Nate reaching for the conditioner if he still had shampoo in his eyes? Shouldn't he have rinsed first?

When the votes were tallied, it was evident that our audience had found fault with the bawdy tales of Nate and Meredith, who garnered 33 and 26 raised hands, respectively. Cait and Rachel barely registered any skepticism among those in attendance, sharing a combined total of 14. But were they right? 

Was Nate's shower accident nothing more than a filthy fraternal fable? The drum roll sounded. Our storytellers suspiciously eyed each other. The assembly's collective anticipation swelled. And as the night's liar stepped forward, a mighty shriek erupted throughout the club. Rachel stood before them a liar unspotted. And much like the church camp pastor in her fabricated tale, she had fooled the audience with the completely made up noises that were coming out of her mouth.