Last night's Perfect Liars Club was one for the ages. Our sold out crowd had a lot to sift through: pesky bathroom door locks, horrific industrial accidents, poorly timed jokes in the teacher's lounge, and Creationism. In the end, though, they were duly duped by another perfect liar -- the always charming raconteur, Mike Baireuther.
But before we played the game, the jam-packed Bier Baron crowd was forced to suffer through my timely, timeless, and dated jokes, which I've posted here for your reading pleasure. Enjoy.
Or not.
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We’ve got a packed house tonight. Apparently everyone is all caught up on Making a Murderer. Enough already with that show. Listen to a few podcasts and watch a few TV shows and all of sudden everyone is Magnum freaking p.i. You want to solve a real mystery? Tell me what the hell I’ve been doing for the past year. How is it 2016 already?
Did everyone have a good holiday? Good. Good. Honestly, I don’t care.
I’m sure many of you saw Star Wars: The Force Awakens over the holiday, yeah? Did you like it? Yeah? Yeah. I liked it the first time I saw it… in 1977… when it was called Star Wars.
SPOILER ALERT: IT’S THE SAME MOVIE.
Okay. Maybe it’s not the same movie. Instead of a villain like Darth Vader, they have whiny millennial named Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren. Yes. The youngest and moodiest of the Ren family… There’s Mason, Lucas, and Emma. And then there’s Kylo.
Kylo Ren. More like Darth Temper Tantrum. He’s like your neighbor’s spoiled kid who’s always breaking shit and can never find his inhaler.
BUT I WANT THAT DROID NOW! CHECK OUT MY COOL NEW LIGHT SABER - IT HAS THREE LIGHT SABERY THINGS. SHUT UP DAD! I NEVER EVEN ASKED TO BE BORN.
Ugh. And for Christ’s sake, take off that stupid helmet, no one can understand a word you’re saying.
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Here are some pictures from last night's amazing show.
